Yet Another Introspective Ramble

I can't stop writing. Which I suppose is a good thing. It's been far too long since I've sat down and let the words flow.

Oh yeah, AtsuiCon was fun. Exhausting, but fun. I'm apparently allergic to Houston. And not because of the traffic...although it might have something to do with the insanely cheap, mold-infested hotel I had to stay in. Bla...I still have a bit of a sore throat and random coughing fits. Anyway, I'd post links to pictures, but I haven't been able to find the one I really want to show everyone. I sort of look...well...okay, I don't think anyone would be able to handle a picture of the costume I wore the first day. Or the last day for that matter. They're really cute, but they were also...completely unlike me. I looked...girly. Extremely girly. Emphasis on the "extremely". Yeah, you wouldn't recognize me. I barely recognized me. Anyway, fun trip.

I started sinking back into those low places. I guess it's with all the fuss of weddings and boyfriends and the fact that I am neither married or dating anyone. My well-meaning friends have made it their task to set me up with guys. Unfortunately, none of the blind dates have worked. Which I wouldn't mind because okay, they're blind dates. Whatever, right? It's just their reasons for not being interested in me were...very shallow. And I guess I'm not as secure as I thought I was because it really hurt. And I'm sick of being set up with guys who don't think I'm pretty enough or dress nicely enough or oh whatever their reasons may be. No, I'm not skinny, no I don't wear AE clothes, no my skin isn't pristine and clear.

The whole affair has dampened what was an otherwise bright view on my current state of singleness. And when you're used to putting yourself down...well old habits die hard. And as nice as they are, I'm not sure I want to hear about how I need a boyfriend because my friends are so happy with their current boyfriends and to be happy(er) I need a boyfriend too. It's a load of bull. And sometimes, in spite of myself, well...I want to believe it.

I wish the military wasn't taking so long. Sometimes I really just want to get away from it all. Away from the people who think they know me so well. Please don't take this the wrong way! I'm not saying I'm some sort of enigma or that I'm not thankful that I have people who love me...I just wish they knew when to back off.

Back off. Give me some space and let me write. I need to get my thoughts in order.

I love them all dearly. I really do. And I'm glad they care about me. But it isn't helping, it's making it worse. I just need some time to think and write and find my way back to that place where I was okay with being single and where my desire for a husband, children, and a home of my own didn't tug so strongly.

Houses, Anime, and Ramblings about Growing Up

Wow, it's official now. The sign is out front and now people know we're trying to sell our house. Well, my parent's house. Because technically I'm a guest since I'm only here until I leave in Oct. for basic.

Oh Oct. 16th is my official leave date.

And I didn't get the linguist job. I got a 96 instead of the 100 I needed to qualify. So close. Honestly, I'm surprised I even got that close. There was no way to study for it. You just had to jump in and do the darn thing. It was the hardest test I've ever taken in my life. No joke.

Anyway, mi familia is trying to move. They never meant to live in the house for more than five years. But we've lived in it for eleven and mum never wanted to retire in it. So she's building her retirement house and selling the house we've got now. All this will happen mostly after I leave. So the new house won't even be anything I'm even remotely connected to. It's sort of sad. All I asked my mum to do was decorate a room in the new house with something that reminds her of me. That way when I come to visit it can be more like my room and not, the guest room I get to use when I'm home.

Shame because I like my room. It's very...me. Hard to explain. If you know me and then you see my room you'd nod and say, "Yeah, that's totally Sarah's room."

Going to AtsuiCon in T-minus four days! YEEEESSS! It'll be great. Alisa and I are going to see how many hot guys we can meet. No, we're not that shallow, we're just...crazy. It's mostly about the anime and the weapons. Except Alisa's family doesn't want her to bring home any more weapons. Actually, neither does my family, but I'm not listening. Bwahaha! Animeanimeanimeanimeanimeanime! Wooo! Large amounts of excitement. Can you tell?

Anything else I can say? Eh...no.

Walk the Plank!

I've been sick. I have pink eye in both eyes. It hurts alot.

Um work, writing, reading, anime...all that good stuff. Hopefully I'll be better when I leave on my trip next weekend. It'll be great. Anime and hot guys. Huzzah.

Nothing else to say.

Five Weeks Later

Wow, life has been so crazy lately. I work three jobs (one is the theatre one that I don't get paid for), well two "real" jobs. (jazz lounge and The Magic Time Machine)

ZOMG! Last night there were judges watching the show for some Army Entertainment Company compeition. They judge for the best play of the year and best actors. I know it's silly, you don't get anything but a title, but I guess it's important to me in some way to show that I've given my all to this show.

Military is still set for Sept.

Umm...I need a nap before the very last show of the run. Oi...five weeks is a loooong time.

Reviews

We got a good review! Go HERE to read it! Dates. showtimes, and prices are listed at the end of the article.

This is actually the second newspaper mention the play had gotten. The first had a picture of Parker and myself.

Man I've been busy lately. It's been pretty crazy.

No time to write anything meaingful.